It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
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