guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Panties = found
Randomize
