He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
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