Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
Randomize