i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Randomize
