I just made out with a guy for $7.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
everyone has their kryptonite. mine just happens to be 18 year old blonde girls.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
