So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
