how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Randomize
