Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
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