Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
Randomize
