"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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