You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
