Yo dont text me then not text me
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
She's currently upstairs fucking her boyfriend while I am downstairs making them a sex playlist watching her boyfriend's Weiner dog and large Boxer try and mount each other. Marvin Gaye is playing. This is the ultimate third wheel fail.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Randomize
