happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize