where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize