Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I tired using vodka to remove my makeup
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
