I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
Randomize
