you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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