Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
