first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Might I also add after my boss threw up in the garbage can and yelled puking rally, he dougied, then told me I wasn't about that life.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
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