Whod you bang
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
