Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
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