how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We went to Denny's and he threatened to fight an entire high school track team by himself
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
