I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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