It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
I just blew my weed a kiss
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize