What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize