Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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