OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
