I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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