her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Randomize
