You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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