I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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