then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Randomize
