I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
