I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
