Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
