i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The power of my boobs compel you
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Randomize
