Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Randomize
