If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
