Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
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