Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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