If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize