Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(757): View more from Virginia

DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?

(703): View more from Virginia

I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.

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(925): View more from California

Should I have kids to fix a relationship??

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(508): View more from Massachusetts

i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.

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(804): View more from Virginia

dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck

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(717): View more from Pennsylvania

I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.

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(661): View more from California

Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.

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(954): View more from Florida

Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay

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(423): View more from Tennessee

You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.

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