u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I came so hard my ears popped.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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