shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
lets start a swedish sibling band together
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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