i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
i believe in u and ur pee
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
