Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
