$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize