I got chris browned last night
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
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