If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
