well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
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