I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
We got so high we made milksteak
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
Today is the day I die from a hangover. I love you, mom. Farewell.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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