Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
