I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Did I show you my penis last night?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize