I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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