peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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