I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
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