its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
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