Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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