I wanna bring you to show and tell
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
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