i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
