So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize