I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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