Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I just found a bag of teeth...
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
Randomize
