haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just sent this text using only my big toe
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
