I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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