They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
