Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
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